You know that moment when you see something and you just can’t resist that cringe urge? Or the laugh urge? I have those moments all the time while shopping online, especially eBay. You wouldn’t believe the messed-up dolls, goofs, and out-right fails I’ve seen. But since I put together a compilation for you, you’re going to have to.
*caution; Lots of satire in this post. Not appropriate for people with no sense of humor*
1. Attempted Murder?
American Girl Doll Lea Clark – TLC – Head, Hair in great condition “damaged body/ dog chewed body/head-hair in great condition”
Apparently this unfortunate GOTY 2016 Lea had a little run-in with a a dog. It looks to me like the dog won, because I don’t think even I could fix her without a new body, not to mention that she probably smells like dog slobber and her hand is chewed away. This doll was listed for $43.58 with two days left, but in all honesty, she’s worth around $25 tops.
2. Peg-Leg Patty
Pleasant Company~ American Girl~Doll Long Blonde Hair 2008′ *Missing leg* “Great Used for repair Condition. Doll is missing its right leg. Body has a spot on torso, as well as… ”
Technically there’s nothing really wrong with this Pre-Mattel Julie, except her missing leg, but the way the seller propped her up just screamed ‘Pirate’ to me. Where’s your parrot and treasure, Peg-Leg Patty?
3. A Little Over Done
You know those people who say dolls are creepy? Well, for once they’re right about this doll. I couldn’t help but cringe at her…those eyes, those eyebrows, that HAIR. And pink hearts on her cheeks? Is she supposed to be a barbie? It’ll be a miracle if this doll gets sold, believe me. Even my brother Perry thinks so…as he said,
”Ugh, is that a zombie doll? It’s so creepy.”
4. Not American Girl
NOT. AMERICAN. GIRL. I legit want to contact this seller and yell at them about how these are SO CLEARLY not AG, so please don’t market them as such. The necks of the dolls say ”BATTAT” and ”Madame Alexander”. Have you, dear anonymous eBay seller, no eyeballs??
I think a TV gameshow where people all try to list the same item on eBay different ways and whoever sell their item first wins. I’d totally watch that.